A very Swedish Easter...

For FHE on Easter Monday a Swedish 'witch' came flying in to show us how they celebrate Easter in her native land. I don't know...have you ever seen a 'meaner' looking witch in your life? Illona (the witch shown and it's pronounced EE-lona) told us how the Swedes used to think that witches flew around trying to hurt people during the Spring. This has evolved to where now little Swedish girls, and sometimes boys, dress up and go from house to house with Easter cards. They get money and candy in return for their cards.So here is the Swedish 'witch' casting her spell on me and I think it worked! Because I LOVED the supposedly 'nasty' (according to Americans) Swedish root beer she brought and....

Look! She bewitched my egg so that in my trying to blow the yolk out in order to paint a 'Swedish' Easter egg, it broke in me hand! 'Burn her! Burn all witches!....so if she weighs as much as a duck...then she's a....witch!' (Monty Python, Search for the Holy Grail)

Au revoir Hampton Court!

And there I was, after spending a day with nobility and royalty, trying to get my photo taken in front of the Royal Courts at Hampton Palace, when they attacked!! A group of Canadian soccer hooligans/street urchin types!

(Scarlet Pimpernel voice) 'Sink me! I mean, I honestly could not believe my eyes...how could such common riff-raff dare confront one as noble as I? Honestly...'


* I don't know what happened, but can you believe how RED my shirt is?!! Sink me!













But in the end, 'do unto others' stuck in my head and I realized that they just wanted me to remember them as well, so I invited them to stand in a photo. (Scarlet Pimpernel) 'In this world one is called upon to make sacrifices and when one is called upon, one must act so...shouldn't one?' ;)

*Who's one? And who am I? And where is this voice in my head coming from?



Goodbye Hampton Court! Thanks for one of the best days I ever had in Europe!

*I wrote Hampton Court telling them so, but maybe I should also include the 'I think you should chop down those trees so people can see the palace...wouldn't along the river bank be better?!'

Hampton Court Palace # 2

Once we had danced the afternoon away with the King, Anne and the Queen (they literally taught us two medieval-ish dances that, although simple, my Red Wing'ed feet had some difficulty with: the Pavan (to the right, to the left, three steps forward, three steps back....can ya dig it?!) and the Horse's Brawl), we decided to go outside to the gardens for lounging and eating and some of us...sleeping.
They had these crazy, perfectly manicured trees that someone pointed out look like a Smurf's house. This is supposed to be me 'wearing' one of the trees as a hat - I don't know if that came through too well...
Here we are, come to wake those who slept and getting ready to see more gardens - can you tell I'm the American. I think in every other photo on my camera I had the 'thumbs up' signal going on! Oh those American tourists...

Hampton Court Palace # 1

Welcome to ye olde Hampton Court Palace! Or at least the 'first courtyard' thing of it. Those English...even 'back in the day' they loved their brick!

(Tangent: the English kind of make fun of houses in the States; 'they look like doll houses'...but then I point out to them that whenever I see brick I think insane asylum, prison or dirty, sleazy industrial center...sorry, I mean, centre. Hmm....oh those cultural differences that keep us apart...)




And now a 'turn-around' view and that's what you see...MORE BRICK!!

Anyway, we went inside and the coolest thing happened: Henry XIII, Catherine or Aragon, and their peeps were roaming around, talking to us and letting us know what was going on as far as Court/country gossip was concerned. It was so fun! The whole 'history coming to life' things.








And here they are! Thomas Moore on the left, is talking to Henry VIII (with his back to you) with Cardinal Wolsey in the red. We had met them earlier in the Great Hall and one of our group had to testify to Queen Catherine of Jane Seymour's virtue, etc. I started to laugh when Anne Boleyn started to speak and she yelled at me! And then Catherine started to say 'my dear sir, I do not know why you laugh! I assure you that all the ladies in my care virtuous' and and and....

The beginning of one of the coolest days ever!!

We have arrived! At this point I didn't know what to expect...we were a group of decidedly Western/Northern Hemisphereans, Canadian/Alaskan contingent, (poor Lou (English) all by herself), and I was a bit disappointed. When you say 'palace' I expect...Neuschwanstein or something, not...large brick house, but...







First things first, it was suggested that we conquer Hampton Court's maze while we still had the energy. T'wasn't much I must say...but then I guess we 'cheated' making sure we were going the opposite way of people who wore these stickers 'I made it to the centre of the maze!' or something like that.

Hey, it's 'think better, not work harder' right?






Umm...I guess the lesson here would be 'cheaters never prosper' - because we cheated our way in, finding our way out was a lot harder and we opted out for the 'help, save us' door.

But I got my sticker though...however tainted it might be ;)

Pancake Races, the English answer to Mardi Gras!

And...they're off! This is what they do for Shrove Tuesday in England...they race with pancakes! Oh those crazy English! The tradition is that on Tuesday before Lent, you would have a feast of all the things you couldn't eat during Lent, i.e. eggs, meat, milky foods, etc. Apparently a woman in 1445 lost track of time, heard the bells calling for confession (Shrove comes from 'shriving' which means to confess and receive absolution - you were supposed to go to church on Shriving Tuesday and receive forgiveness for your sins.) and ran to the church with pan in hand and cake still frying. So hence the tradition of pancake races was born! (The 'Gunmakers' had a little cannon there and twas loud - that's where all that smoke came from.)

This race was held at Guildhall in London with all the several guilds participating. The idea of the race is to run down the concourse and each time you reach the middle point you flip your pancake.

Here are the Madhatters awaiting the decision for the prize of best 'Mad Hat' - I didn't agree with the hat that won. I still say it should have been 'Nefertiti' guy there in the front!

There were some close-calls (a few die-hards dove for the finish line and during the second part of the race, racing with tea cups, several tea cups were smashed at the finish line), but the weather was great, I laughed every time the emcee opened his mouth = a great, great day for pancakes!

When in Rome...

Back in Octoberish I was Brigham Young in a Primary activity, well, they did another one after the Britannia contest and I was the Roman centurion who believed in Jesus after the earthquake, etc.

Notice the loverly brown Red Wings boots - very 'time' appropriate I must say...

The 'cast' - our Stake president was Joseph of Arimathea (who we all know brought the Holy Grail to Britain all those years ago and was an ancestor of English medieval royalty and....notice there is no 'apparently' here = all untrue!), Elder Cochran was Joseph Smith, Tami was one of the 5,000 - it was really cool! The whole idea was for these people from history to testify that Jesus was the Christ.

And here I am as the Roman centurion. I didn't understand for a while why the kids didn't ask me too many questions, but then I realized....I WAS THE GUY WHO KILLED JESUS!! At least in their eyes! 'Umm...let's get away from the tall guy with the sword who killed Jesus' is what might have gone through their heads.

All in all it was a good day. The kids had fun, I felt good and they ended with a nice lunch.

And the King...HOORAY!

And there you have it! Mr. Britannia and his supporters from the crowd...I felt so odd though, just like when I was little and everyone would look at me as they'd sing to me on my birthday - very 'odd' feeling.

Mr. Britannia contest # 3

Another 'feat' was to find six pieces of candy in a trough of spaghetti and fish. Seeing as how I am 'weird' and eat salmon often, I was fine with it. But what was funny was how I approached the quandary. I rarely know what is going on or what to do, but I looked down at the spaghetti as they were counting down and the thought came into my mind 'remove it!' So I did - I picked up a huge thing of spaghetti, held it in my mouth, tried to make sure there were no candies in what I had and then let it pour out over the stage. This is an 'indexed' group of photos from a movie of this - Andrea Rowbottom who was filming let out a 'OHH! GROSS! OHH, That is SO wrong!'



A blurry photo, but yet again, I had no idea what to do. Steph threw all of this trash out on to the stage and then Dave told us to make outfits. I looked and looked and didn't know what to do, but figured 'oh...I can fit this trash bag on....okay, then I just started adding things, and 'tried' to make a paper hat, but couldn't as is obvious...it's funny how pride works. I never set out to 'win' the contest, but it was with each individual 'feat' that I wanted to 'pass' and move forward; not necessarily win it. (No one believes me on that one, but it's true.)

So literally about 1.5 minutes before our time was up the thought came into my mind that this would be a uniform. When they handed me the mic I said 'Ladies....I know how much you love a man in uniform. (screams) Well I am Voltan from the planet Hipicus. I also know how much you are attracted to power (laughs), so as you can see by my uniform, I am a general.' SOOOO FUNNY!!!

Mr. Britannia contest # 2 - the Wedding Singer...

This was THE moment! I had practiced and prayed a ton that I would remember the words to my songs, so this is how said moment occurred....

I walked out and said that I attended a Singles ward where I liked a girl, but she didn't like me; but she liked this guy, who didn't like her; but he liked this girl, who didn't really like him; and then the first girl's roommate started to like me. I said that this whole situation reminded me of a song. I then proceeded to sing 'Love Stinks!' from 'The Wedding Singer'.

Adrian, my Tesco pal, walked up, shaking his head. I stopped singing and then 'talked' like the adults on 'Charlie Brown'. I agreed with Adrian that since we're in a Singles ward I should be more positive about relationships/marriage/etc.

I then said that of course what I meant to sing was another song and that I hoped that all there could find 'this' with their loved ones, and I sang 'I wanna grow old with you' from 'The Wedding Singer'.

I REMEMBERED the words! I was happy and I think the audience had fun!

Mr. Britannia contest # 1

Okay, so the activities committee decided that they would have a male pageant of sorts. I and some other people were honestly signed up without our consent, but in thinking about it we decided that we'd participate to support Steph Ollerton in her calling (that sounds so sanctimonious, but that is the truth!)

Thus the Mr. Britannia contest was born. There were ads all over the chapel with a picture of Bishop Stokes wearing a crown and saying we could become like him. The contest would consist in several 'feats' that we would have to complete in order not to be kicked out. I wasn't sure what to do so one night I decided that I was going to be Adam Sandler in 'The Wedding Singer'. I went to Camden Town and found a blue, frilly shirt, complete with blue jacket. I practiced and practiced what I was going to do and then the night arrived.

The photo you see here is of one of the 'feats of strength' - we had to eat Weetabix (super dry cereal) without any liquids.

'There is a season, turn, turn, turn...'

No, you're not seeing double. You did see this scene earlier on this blog (I hate that term! I think I'll call this my online journal, but then 'they' will probably rename it 'onjour' (just like TomKat, or Beniffer)..which reminds me of 'bonjour', but not really...

Anyway, this is just a point of reference for the changing seasons of time.

I would say that is the lesson Heavenly Father has been teaching me lately: accept the good with the bad. Although this scene looks depressing, cold, bleak - and you can see the gravemarkers even more prominently, it still has a beauty about it and we truly had a great winter. Yeah, winter for all of you reading this in Alaska - green grass in December. Hmm....loverly says I!

(To the tune of 'Love's in the Air...') 'Spring's in the air, I can feel it all around...' The trees are budding, the flowers blooming, the birds chirping and the weather is STILL COLD!! What's up?! (late April 2006)


And here we have me park as it looks as I left June 2006. To everything turn, turn, turn....there is a season turn, turn turn and a time to every purpose under Heaven.

'It's a nice day to start again....'

Wowzuhs! What happened here?! Well, officer, it's really quite simple: you take a dash of boredom, a little bit of cabin fever, a pinch of Mom/Sisters wanting to play 'dolls', a whole lot of peroxide and you get = Billy Idol LIVE in North Pole, AK!

• No animals were harmed during the bleaching process, but I was! I couldn't sleep soundly for 5 days because it burned a hole in my scalp!

Christmas in North Pole - Alaska, that is...

What a spread, as it always is at Mom's. The only problem is, is the sad fact, that whatever weight I had lost in Europe, I gained that and more during my Christmas stay in Alaska! ;)

The traditional Belgian waffle breakfast over at the house...in other words, MORE FOOD!!

It's beginning to look a lot like....

Christmas on Oxford Street! Probably considered one of the 'posher' streets in London. It did look nice all decked out with boughs of...people, and congestion and and...but it still looked nice.

Although I must admit that I felt they were pushing Christmas way too early! I hear that all of the time and always thought 'whatever, it's okay', but seriously, this year some of the shops on Oxford Street had Christmas decorations up the day before Halloween!





That guy in the light colored, I mean coloUred jacket almost got ran over by a double-decker bus right after this was taken - silly pedestrians. You think you have the right-away, but you know deep down that you don't!

Tower Bridge by candle/car/street light...

Tower Bridge! What a beauty she is as well...

I find it so interesting how every time I go across it at night it looks almost as if it were painted on to the night sky. Hard to explain, you'll just have to see it...














And here is a shot from the middle of the bridge looking up....it just seems like it's been painted on the sky....









Tower Bridge from the other (south) side of the Thames. It's beautiful during the day, but especially at night!

Maori Cultural Night, December 2005

Yet again, I didn't know how to take non-blurry pictures, so all of my pictures of the Maori cultural night at the Salvation Army Hall are...well, blurry. But I loved it! It was so cool to hear Maori songs and I tell ya their 'welcomings' to their land/villages scare me to death, i.e. don't mess with Maori!

This was all part of a goodbye to my good friend Conquest Craig. His mom was sick and so he had to go home. He's one of the coolest people around and I took to him right away because he's so 'real'; no pretense, etc. Just nice and cool! Here's to you, brah!

St. Paul's at night, outta sight!

When I went home for Christmas, I showed London photos to my family and they noticed a 'trend', LOTS OF PICTURES OF ST. PAUL'S! They actually started saying 'St. Paul's!' every time a picture of it came up. I don't mind, I love it, I love it! I like these photos because this is what I see as I take Bus #17 to London Bridge...

What a sight!!

Who would'a thunk?

For a very long time I had wondered 'where do brussel sprouts come from?' I guess I was just too lazy to ask or find out and I just resigned myself to the belief that they grow like cabbages out of the ground, only little. Well, I was wrong! There they be...the stalks or things/whatever and then like gruesome, green growths, the brussel sprouts develop and are hacked off! Mmm....

Upwards to the Stone and Golden Galleries...

Here we are, the birthday crowd! First we toured the inside and then made our way up several flights of stairs to the 'Whispering Gallery'. This is inside the dome and supposedly you can whisper across/or something like that and someone can hear you. I don't think it works with lots of noisy people.

Then you follow some more flights of stairs and you find the 'Stone Gallery'. This is where we waited in a line to go up some more stairs to the tippy-top 'Golden Gallery'.




This is the view from the Stone Gallery and you can't see it too well, but our dorm is around-ish that larger brown building in the middle of the photo.












This is a view from the Golden Gallery, the tippy-top, of the River Thames and Tower Bridge in the distance.













The London skyline from the Golden Gallery, and oh, me! I was admittedly getting cold around this time. The Golden Gallery was small and would only admit, maybe, 10ish people. After we were done there we went down to Blackfriar's Bridge over the Thames and watched the Lord Mayor's firework show. I thought it was good, but many were disappointed. The eye of the beholder, eh?

Tour of St. Paul...

Many of you, especially my family have teased me about my love for St. Paul's cathedral. Say what you will, but my devotion continues - what a beautiful building it is!







Yet another photo of the front facade of St. Paul's. I, along with a few other million every year, sang 'Toppence a bag' from 'Mary Poppins' when I first wandered up those steps. I laugh as I imagine Suzanne doing her 'Birdwoman' impression.


And here I am again with my most favorite, I mean favoUrite building in London...

The 'merry' Morrismen/Order of Greensleeves

The parade was over and I was going to head off to St. Paul's for the beginning of my roommate's birthday festivities, when I came upon this little band. I forget where this particular group of Morrismen came from, but I had heard of them. It's kind of like British folk dancing, but the origin stories are many. But they do these dances in England and Wales - I don' t know about Scotland.









Apparently they are also called 'mummers', but being from the States that meant something different to me. The Morrismen did several dances: one with sticks, one with handkerchiefs (I wrote in my journal, 'that was the most feminine display of masculinity I had ever seen!') and then the last one with swords.










And then the coolest part! At the end of the sword dance they put all their swords together and made a star of David! I knew the British pastime of debauchery and drunkenness (I guess those are pretty much the same thing huh?) was just a ruse - they truly are 'Israelites in hiding'!